Agitation to Serenity …

It was a sunny day with a few clouds scattered here and there in the blue sky. The town folks had the usual routine of running and being busy with their day today chores. Vehicles passed in the busy street honking to the people and for a person with a normal perception, would see that this is another typical busy town.

But it was not all the same for a boy who was looking outside his window from his apartment at the busy streets. If it was some other day he would get up around 6.30 in the morning have his bath and the usual breakfast of boiled eggs, and bread left over from last night’s dinner and hurried off to work. He worked as a library assistant in the Town-Hall Library and earned fairly to manage a living in the busy city. He had to face a struggle but seemed quite contended with what he had. But the boy was always inquisitive about new knowledge. So as soon as he got a free time, he would sit down in a corner chair and read a book which seems to be interesting. The head librarian too was easy on the boy and would allow him to have his time when there is no work to be done.

Today he got up a little early, had a quick breakfast and suited up in the best suit that he had. The suit was a gift from a friend and he only kept it to wear in a special occasion. This moment was a big step in his life and amongst the feeling of confidence and morale in him, he felt a strike of fear and anxiety running down the spine. Some would term the feeling as “having butterflies” but he was not sure what it was. He was only confident that he had to do this today. After thinking and planning about what would happen later that day, for many sleepless nights, he mustered all his courage to face it.

A few minutes later he found himself on the street. He closely felt the rush on the street much more than he anticipated. Numerous thoughts struck his mind as he proceeded along the street towards the library. Among the flashing thoughts, he settled in one of them which had been the reason for all these changes.

In particular, he loved to ponder about that event and in an extraordinary way, it made him a bit calm. He started to think of the first day that the root of the incident occurred. He was sitting in his usual corner chair, reading a book, when a girl entered through the door to the lending section. On any other occasion he would go back to his reading, but this was no “other occasion”. He felt some sort of a feeling within him that, not even a veteran author could compose to words, and completely forgot that he was in the library, but gazed and admired her astonishing beauty. She was dressed in a white dress with blue colored little flowers scattered all over, which amplified her beauty in his mind. She had black long hair, fair skin and brown eyes that were sparkling to the reflection from the sunlight through the window at the reception. To his amazement, this was the first time he has had a feeling like this and couldn’t overcome it. At this moment he understood that he has had an untapped area in his heart that had never been opened until now. While he was in his fantasy, the next thought that came to his mind intimidated him. It was to decide what he should do about it.

This resulted in the many sleepless nights that he had for the last couple of weeks thinking and anticipating every move. After a couple of weeks, he knew that the girl would visit the library every Tuesday and Friday. So on this beautiful Friday morning he was on his way dressed in his best attire, and had managed to reach the library. He made himself comfortable in the lobby and waited there until she showed up. While he was staying in the lobby, numerous thoughts ran through his mind as in what would she say to him, how she would react, whether she would accept him gladly or denies his humble request, whether she would deny it in a neutral manner or scold at him in rage. Will she laugh at him and say that he was silly or she will get scared and run away to never come back to the library. He was thinking of all the possible outcomes that might arise and was getting ready to face anyone of them, or at least that’s what he thought. But once in a while he would think of something new that he didn’t think of and got excited. The ten minutes that he spent sitting in that lobby was like a period of ten hours. He felt like everything around him had started to move slowly, along with the time. Every now and then, he would look through the door to see if she is coming but only sat back down with disappointment. Finally the long-awaited moment arrived when the girl got off the bus near the library building. The boy had an involuntary smile on his face when he saw her and the next moment his heart started pounding like a drum. He felt like she has become much more beautiful within the couple of weeks. He felt and heard his heartbeat and for a moment he could not move his body an inch. His hands were sweaty and were shaking with excitement. He clasped his two hands to stop the shake and had a few deep breaths. Everything that has happened from the day that he saw her to that right moment, flashed right before his eyes in just a matter of seconds and finally he mustered all the courage from every nerve in his body and stood up to her. She noticed the boy walking towards her and gave a humble smile. That smile had an enormous effect on the boy that no other person in the world can ever think of. The deep sense of agitation that he had within himself was instantly taken to a level of serenity in which he felt clam, quiet and peaceful. This fascinating feeling strengthened him to say out the words that he had been anticipating for a long time.

“Hi … mm! Can I talk with you for a second?”

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Viduranga Gunarathne

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